Archives for May 2023

Down the Long Hills by Louis L’Amour: DratherB Reading Book Club, #2

May 31, 2023 Reading

Louis L’Amour lived a life as adventurous as his novels. He wrote about things he knew, whether it was being a seaman on the Indian Ocean (West from Singapore), a soldier all over the world (Callaghen), or an Irish boxer who finds himself in the American West (The Man from Skibbereen).

The unique circumstances of Louis L’Amour created the opportunity for him to write from real experiences: his own or those of people he was friends with. He knew the people who knew the people that made the Legendary West.

This blog will introduce you to Louis L’Amour and review his 1968 frontier story, Down the Long Hills.

My Introduction to Louis L’Amour

I was introduced to Louis L’Amour by my sister, Renae. Despite our gap in ages, we shared a room, and she let me read her growing collection of his books. In fact, I think she started my current collection. His paperbacks were the perfect length and budget for a new teenager – at around 150 pages and about $5 new. Since I was always at thrift stores looking for my favorite books, it was easy to pick them up for a quarter back in the early 80s.

I don’t remember the first book, but I quickly grew to love and have an obsession with The Sacketts. All my future sons were going to have Sackett names; Tyrel, Orrin, Yance. I didn’t tell my husband that, but sure enough, he chose our youngest son’s name from one of the Sackett books. (I am currently trying to protect my kid’s privacy by not using their names in my blog.)

I’m guessing that Louis is pronounced Loo-ee, instead of Loo-is, because his father was of French Canadian ancestry. I’d never thought about it until I realized someone who has never heard of him before would probably read his name in their head with the English pronunciation.

I currently own 46 Louis L’Amour books, and I always have my eye open for more. In fact, I just got six from our local Little Free Library at the park. WooHoo!

Who Was Louis L’Amour

Birth and Early Years

Louis L’Amour was born Louis Dearborn LaMoore on March 22, 1908. His father, Dr. Louis Charles LaMoore, changed the French spelling, but in the 30s, Louis changed it back. His mother, Emily Dearborn LaMoore, of Irish descent, gave him his first introduction to learning since she studied as a schoolteacher. He was the youngest of seven children, though a set of twins died as infants and another sister was a casualty of the 1918 flu epidemic.

The first fifteen years of his life were spent in Jamestown, North Dakota where his father was a veterinarian, livestock inspector, farm machine broker, boss of a harvest crew, and politician. His maternal grandfather was a soldier in the civil and Indian wars and two uncles worked on ranches both as managers and itinerant cowboys. These men gave Louis a peak into the great stories of the American frontier.

Young Life

Because of bank failures and the general economic hardships of the Great Depression, the LaMoore family left North Dakota and traveled the United States. His formal education ended at 8th grade. But in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Oregan, and Washington Louis L’Amour’s hunger for knowledge introduced him to skinning cattle, bailing hay, mining, and the logging industry.

His family was intelligent and well-educated. Through them, Louis’s education was formed: Emmy Lou taught him to read, Edna’s work as a librarian nurtured his love of books, Parker (the reporter) gave him the use of prose and speed in writing, Yale gave him a love and life and improvisation, and John was his example of quick whit and a sharp tongue.

Work and Travel of Louis L’Amour

Louis L’Amour traveled extensively. During his early years of travel, Louis became a professional boxer to make extra money and had 59 fights, only losing 5 of those. In his travels with family and alone he met many people who influenced his stories. They were mostly men who lived the life on the frontier and were well-known movers and shakers — or they personally knew them (like Billy the Kid, Emmett Dalton of the Dalton Gang, and Jim Roberts the last survivor the Tonto Basin War and later Marshall of Jerome).

Louis Lamour in Arizona desert — Yoba Copper Company, near Prescott, AZ where he was a mine caretaker.

Louis Lamour True Gang magazine articles in the 1930s — Yoba Copper Company, near Prescott, AZ where he was a mine caretaker.

In his life he worked the aforementioned odd jobs, as well as a mine assessor, merchant seaman, and boxing coach. As well as traveling extensively across the United States, he traveled to England, China, Japan, Borneo, the Dutch East Indies, Arabia, Egypt, and Panama.

He always wanted to be a writer, but without much training he struggled. His perseverance and intellect helped him grow in his craft. He started with poetry. Like Gene Stratton-Porter, he began in magazines. Poems didn’t pay well (or at all), so he drew upon his many experiences and the people he met to create short stories, sending these to various magazines. Throughout the 30s he wrote many genres and got the most attention from adventure tales.

Military and Post WWII

The summer of 1942, Louis L’Amour was inducted into the U.S. Army. He went to boot camp and then to Officer’s Candidate School, and Tank Destroyers School. By the time he was ready to join an outfit, he was too old (35) and so he joined the Transportation Corps. He became a 1st Lieutenant and supplied gas to planes and tanks throughout Europe. This supplied him with a background of places and characters for many stories.

After returning home from the war, he realized that the demand for Adventure stories had waned and the stories publishers wanted was Mysteries and Westerns. A publishing friend encouraged him to pursue Westerns, so he moved to Los Angeles and in living in the back of a family’s apartment, sat at his typewriter on a folding chair and chugged out a short story a week, selling them to magazines for less than $100 each.

By the early 1950s he was writing and selling his novels that were being made into movies. John Wayne starred in Hondo and claimed it was the best Western he had every read. His career flourished through the 60s, 70s, and 80s, winning numerous awards. Louis L’Amour has over 100 books, 250 (one source said 400) short stories, and has sold well over 300 million books. There are 18 movies that are either based on his books or that he wrote.

Family and Success

Louis L’Amour married Katherine Elizabeth Adams, an aspiring actress in 1956. Kathy and Louis traveled all over the west doing research for his books. Their son Beau was born in 1961 and their daughter Angelique followed in 1964. In 1966 they began to spend their summers in Durango, Colorado. He was able to move to better homes and build his library from 3,000 books to 10,000. (I have library envy!!) He spent an hour or two every day lifting weights, skipping rope, and punching a heavy bag.

Louis L’Amour’s Death

In spite of having never smoked, Louis L’Amour died of lung cancer in 1988. He came down with pneumonia in twice 1987. Tests showed inoperable cancer. He began writing his memoirs, Education of a Wandering Man, and was editing it the afternoon he passed away, June 10, 1988. He is buried at Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetary in Glendale, California.

Down the Long Hills

Down the Long Hills was published in 1968 by Bantam Books. It is 150 pages of easy reading. The reason I chose this book isn’t because it is one of my favorites — although I don’t if I could pick a favorite because there are so many great stories — but because several of my children chose this novel to do a book report for high school. They all loved it. It’s only a coincidence that it involves very young children, similar to my first DratherB Reading Book Club novel.

Overview

Seven-year-old Hardy Collins must cross the lonely plains to reach his father who is waiting for him at Fort Bridger. It wasn’t terribly challenging until his wagon train was massacred by Indian raiders. Now he must figure how to get himself, three-year-old Betty Sue, and his dad’s prized stallion Big Red to safety with only a knife and a gunny sack of canned food saved from the burned wagons. With the constant threat of Indians, outlaws, and wild animals, as well as winter approaching and food running out Hardy must remember every survival skill his dad taught him and think harder than he’s ever had to before — or they will never live to see California, their final destination.

Review

Overall, I loved this book. I’d give it four out of five stars. There were a few writing elements that bumped it down for me, but for 1968, it was probably normal. I’ll talk about that below under POV.

The plot and tension in the story was great. Hardy faced many people who wanted his big red horse and would kill to get it. He faced a grizzly bear and wolves. Each time he was saved but ironically put in more danger by that save. The ending flowed well and was believable.

Character Development

As an adult reading this book, the first thing I remember thinking was, “Really? A seven-year-old is doing these things?” But then Louis L’Amour does a good job showing how most of the adults involved in the story give up all hope of the children surviving because of Hardy’s age. Mr. L’Amour develops Hardy’s character as a very solemn boy who was at his father’s side from the moment he could walk. And children in that time period really did take on great responsibility at a young age. I’ve read it in my own family history journals.

I love the supporting characters L’Amour introduces. Knowing his history, you can see how he came up with them from people he met in his life. Bill Squires is a frontiersman who visits the wagon train and then finds it again after its demise. Although he is rough on the outside, he is steady in his devotion to helping Mr. Collins find his son. The Indian hot on Hardy’s tail is an interesting character who values the little warrior he is trailing. Technically Ashawakie is a bad guy, but I learned about some of the superstitions of the Native Americans through this character.

Louis L'Amour books are written from experience

Research

It’s obvious that L’Amour does a lot of research for his books. They are really what we’d call historical fiction today. He talks about the conditions at the time period, of Fort Bridger, wagon trains and Indian movements at certain seasons of the year, of the Little People, and survival skills. There’s a lot to be learned from these books.

POV

Down the Long Hills is written in past tense, third person omniscient — meaning the narrator knows all the points of view and thoughts of each character. What I didn’t like was when he changed points of view without leaving some space between the paragraphs, so it became a little difficult to know immediately who was being represented.

I enjoyed this book. The character development is wonderful as well as the pacing and chapter transitions. If you’ve read it already, I hope you enjoyed it. If you have yet to read it, I highly recommend you do.

Louis L’Amour Reading and Watching Options

If you’re interested in owning this book, it is available through so many online options. You can purchase it on the Louis L’Amour website, Ebay, Amazon, and Thriftbooks. I do not receive compensation from any of these sites. You can read it online for free at Archive.org.

This book was made into a movie, which I wasn’t aware of before doing research. You can watch it on YouTube or on Archive.org.

I Connect with Louis L’Amour!

When I read that Louis L’Amour was the youngest of seven children and that his siblings all influenced who he was, I connected with that. I have always said that I like being one of the youngest because I get to look at those older than me and absorb what I love about them.

Durango Colorado US 550 Highway. Scenic Sunset and the Mountains Vista. United States of America.

Like Louis’s family, we vacation in Durango, CO every summer. He says the mountains “. . . smooth out all the wrinkles and you’re at peace with the world.” I feel this way exactly. The mountains are my place of peace.

I see his quotes and say, “YES!” Like, “If you’re going to be a writer, the first essential is just to write. Do not wait for an idea. Start writing and the ideas will come. You have to turn the faucet on before the water starts to flow.” I love this because no matter how much I try to plan and organize what I want to write, it just doesn’t happen until I sit down and start to type or pick up the pencil (#2) and go at it.

His stories and musings have a real, down-to-earth sentiment that I connect with. He placed a lot of importance in reading, as do I. He emphasizes that in his stories. For example, in The Warrior’s Path (Book 3 of the Sackett series), he writes, “. . . we must read, not only for what we read, but for what it makes us think.”

Louis L’Amour had a thirst for knowledge. I think he was the embodiment of DratherB. He tried everything, and embraced dreaming, learning, growing and loving. I hope you’ll read his books and think about what he’s saying beyond the story.

Your Turn

Here’s how the Drather B Reading book club works. Read the book and leave your response to the discussion questions in the COMMENTS. If you have not yet read the book, don’t read the comments unless you want spoilers.

Did you like the story of Down the Long Hills?
Did you think the struggle Hardy and Betty Sue faced was realistic for the time period?
If the book was written in first person, which character do you think would make the best point of view and why?
At any point in the story, Hardy and Betty Sue could have died. What do you think was the pivotal point that determined their survival?
Which character did you connect with the most?
Did Louis L’Amour present any historical information in the book that you found interesting or new?
How do you think Hardy changed from the beginning of the book to the end?
Did you like Louis L’Amour’s writing style?
If you made a playlist for this book, what songs would it include?
What do you think the storyline would be like if this book were written in the current era?

Evaune’s Zucchini Bread PLUS How to Preserve Grated Zucchini in the Freezer

May 25, 2023 Homemaking

A wise woman once said, “When life gives you zucchini, make zucchini bread.” Okay, I made that up, but it’s true (and if it’s the only time I’m called wise, I’ll take it — even if it’s by myself).

Click here if you want to skip the backstory and tips for zucchini bread. If you want to know how to freeze it for later, Click here.

GARDEN ESSENTIAL

Gardening is a great way to save money if your water supply isn’t too expensive. We usually had irrigation. Our family loves squash — both summer and winter. Steamed zucchini, sauteed zucchini, zucchini with onion and bacon, zucchini topped with cheese, and any other way Momma could think to fix it.

Summer squash are a staple in the garden. Zucchini is an easy-to-grow green summer squash. In fact, if you don’t pay attention, one day you’ll have zucchini the size of your thumb, and the next day it’ll be the size of a dachshund.

Runaway Zucchini

We didn’t always have a garden, but when my dad planted, we usually had so much zucchini, we couldn’t give enough away. We’d leave it on people’s doorstep only to come out of church to a box full of it in the backseat of the car.

Someone would knock on the door, and we’d peek out the window. “Turn off the TV. It’s the Nobles, and they have zucchini! Shhhhhh. They’ll know we’re home.” Everybody ducked for cover. Unfortunately, they’d leave it on the doorstep, too. That’s the kind of neighborhood I grew up in. Everyone shared. After a while, getting zucchini became as bad as getting lice, which our neighborhood also shared about every two or three years. (That happened when you had 100 kids under the age of eighteen living within two blocks of each other. But that’s another post.)

Then there were the years nobody grew zucchini because they assumed everyone else was.

Creative Recipes

Mom came up with many recipes — even zucchini pineapple. (I’ll share that another day.) Zucchini doesn’t freeze well, except for grated, so that’s what we’d do with the Godzillucchini. The seeds and skin are really tough when it gets that size, but if you seed and skin it, you can grate it and freeze for the winter months. Fresh, grated zucchini is great in all kinds of recipes, by the way.

Today, I’m sharing her recipe for zucchini bread, which is perfect for that frozen, grated zucchini. She wrote it in the 1970s. I can tell because the recipe card is classic for the day. And seeing her handwriting makes me feel warm and cozy inside. It’s a visual hug from her.

Making Zucchini Bread

Prep/Grating Zucchini

Some of the tips I’ve learned over the years is that I don’t need to peel the zucchini, If they’re oversized and the tough texture or the visual of green skin bothers you, go ahead. But when I grate them, I find the skin is so small it doesn’t make much difference for zucchini bread. I’m all about saving time! That’s also why I use an electric food grater/processor when I’m grating large batches. If you’re doing one recipe, any hand grater will work. Who wants to clean all parts when you’re only grating two cups? Learn more about grating and storing zucchini here.

Mix

I use a Bosh mixer, but before I had that, I just used a hand mixer. Beat eggs till they’re fluffy. This will help the zucchini bread be light. Add oil, sugar, vanilla, and squash and mix. Tip: the lid for most vanilla bottles are a teaspoon. I actually tested that with my bottle lid. I don’t like to get my teaspoon wet and then measure the dry ingredients, so I always use the lid.

A lot of recipes call for combining dry ingredients before adding, but I just dump everything at once – because Mom did and I’m about saving time. Did I mention that? If you don’t have a flour sifter, no worries. I don’t either — never have. Momma showed me how to simply use the handle of your (wooden) spoon to stir and fluff up your flour in the container before measuring. In the video, I measure everything into little glass bowls. In real life? I don’t do that.

Bake

Mom always used shortening to coat her pans. It’s inexpensive. I can afford the baking spray, so I use that. You have to use enough or your bread will stick. This recipe calls for 2 large loaf pans. Use whatever pan you want for the situation. You can make cupcakes or a cake or mini loaves or . . . you get the idea. Just remember, you have to adjust your time. The less batter, the less time. Bake at 350 F. and test after 45 minutes. It usually takes an hour.

This time I wanted to share my zucchini bread with neighbors, so I used my small pans and a medium. I should have done less time and tested with a toothpick. I did 45 minutes. Too long! It was still moist and yummy in the middle, but the ends were too crisp and dry. So . . . I wasn’t about to make another batch just to look good. Keepin’ it real.

zucchini bread recipe — Let cool in the pans

Zucchini Bread cooling failure — Let cool in the pans

EVAUNE’S ZUCCHINI BREAD

Ingredients

3 eggs
1 cup oil
2 cups sugar
2 cups zucchini – peeled and grated
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. nutmet
1/2 tsp. cloves

3 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. allspice
1 tsp salt
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
3 cups sifted flour
1 cup nuts (optional)

Instructions

Beat eggs till fluffy. Add oil, sugar, vanilla, and squash. Mix well. Add dry ingredients. Mix again till no lumps appear.

Bake at 350 degrees F for one hour or until done in center.

Substitute carrots for squash if desired.

Frost zucchini bread with glaze or carrot cake frosting – i.e. cream cheese, powder sugar, vanilla.

(You can substitute or combine shredded carrots in this recipe as well.)

PRESERVING

The best success my Momma ever had with preserving zucchini was freezing it. When it’s bottled, the texture was too mushy for us to enjoy. Frozen in chunks wasn’t bad, but still cooked up mushy due to the high water content. As it freezes, the water expands and bursts the cells, making it mushy when it thaws. The smaller you cut it, the better. Grated, frozen, and later used in zucchini bread is the best use, in my opinion.

zucchini half — This zucchini is perfect for grating without removing seeds.

Pick and wash your zucchini. If they have turned into Godzillacchini, cut them in half and scoop out the seeds. You can peel before or after you cut in half. If they’re still relatively small, I don’t bother seeding or peeling, since there’s a higher nutritional value that way.

I use a machine to grate my zucchini, but you can do it by hand. Usually I’m doing several zucchini at a time and put all the flesh in a large bowl. Because of the high water content, you need to squeeze as much liquid as you can out of the grated zucchini before bagging. I use cheesecloth for this.

After removing as much liquid as you can, measure your zucchini into 2 cup portions and place in freezer bags. Smooth flat to remove air and make it easier to store in the freezer. TIP label your bags with the contents and date BEFORE filling.

Zucchini Bread all year long

The best part of planting and harvesting a lot of zucchini is having zucchini bread all year long. I preserved this about 18 months ago, and it’s not freezer burned yet, but I need to get it used before it gets that way. The water content of zucchini makes these ice crystals form after a while. I would think two years is about the max it will store well.

I hope you enjoy this recipe as much as my family does. And whenever my children are lonely for their grandma, they can pull up this post and see her handwriting, make her recipe, and feel her love. I love you, Momma!

YOUR TURN

Have you ever tried zucchini bread before? Do you have a recipe that brings a family member closer? If you’ve preserved zucchini some other way, how did it turn out? Did anyone ever “gift” you zucchini?

Accepting Emotions Is a Step Towards Loving Yourself and Others

May 18, 2023 Homemaking

There are days when accepting emotions is difficult. You might tell yourself it is wrong to feel this way. Or there’s no reason to have the emotions you’re having. It’s silly. It’s selfish. It flat out is not acceptable.

Accepting emotions is not a sign of weakness or that you’re somehow broken. Emotional intelligence is an important step in mental health.

In this post I’m going to share why accepting your emotions is an important part of loving yourself and others.

CHANGING GEARS

I was supposed to blog about zucchini. I have an amazing recipe for zucchini bread and the way seo (search engine optimization) works, this would come into the most popular search just about the time everyone has a million zucchini coming out of their garden. The frozen packages of grated zucchini lay thawing on the counter. I took some of the pictures. I was forcing myself to be excited. That’s not happening today.

Why?

As I told my oldest daughter, it’s because of the lasagna. The layering of events that piled on top of each other. As I lay on my bed with a pounding migraine, trying to convince myself to get up and get to the store for a few ingredients so I could bake zucchini bread, I realized I was not able. The anger of betrayal churned in my heart. Tears of sadness threatened to spill. Guilt pulled at my gut. Exhaustion from sleep deprivation probably contributed to the migraine. This was NOT the article I could pull together today. It was time for accepting my emotions.

Brace Yourself. I’m going to get personal.

I’m a firm believer that sharing our experiences helps others not feel alone in their struggles. We’re not alone. There’s not a situation out there that someone hasn’t been through. So although I’m told “Nobody cares about you in the blogging world, so don’t write about yourself,” I’m going to share today because I think it might help you when you’re in a similar spot. And it will help you help others.

Failure!

The past couple weeks (hmmm . . . year?) have been “T.U.F.F.” as my college shorthand professor loved to say. (If you don’t know what shorthand is, it’s what dinosaurs used to use for dictation before voice recognition software took over.) As some of you may know, we’ve been doing foster care for eight years. I’m told we do it differently than most. I don’t know. I only know how to parent one way. I’m a mom to everyone who enters my home. So yesterday, when the foster agency had to move a teenager from my home, it was that final layer of emotional lasagna that buried me.

Here’s the metaphorical lasagna:

Foster kids
Dream car crash
EB Puppies
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis
Foster kids

I (Foster) Care

Coming and Going

Every time a foster child leaves my home under negative circumstances, I struggle with feeling like a failure. I know I’m not, but I have to go through the whole process of accepting emotions every single time. It’s just me. In ten months, I’ve had to say goodbye to three — two of them within two months of each other. The hardest was a teenager who came to me when I began my role as a foster mom seven years ago. He decided he didn’t “like the way we parented”. He couldn’t read and didn’t speak when he came to my home as an 11-year-old. Now he gets nearly straight A-s as a junior. It broke my heart. I’m still suffering.

These kids are family when they enter our home, and it hurts when we can’t help them. It also hurts to be rejected — even if you’re old.

Aging Out

We have room for five kids — between the ages of 12 and 18. The two here are a junior who’s been with us for three years, and a senior who came a little over a year ago. Both express that this is home. Family. Where they’ll age out (reach the age and progress to be released from foster care).

For the most part, the kids who age out (3 so far) join us for Sunday dinner, Christmas gift exchanges, and family reunions. But the graduating process is HARD. They worry what will happen to them; not quite convinced we really mean what we say. Mistakes happen a lot at this stage.

Fireball

We’ll call the graduate Tony for the sake of a name. Two weeks ago, my husband and I took our monthly get-away. It’s been tough taking those, so we really looked forward to it. Our foster daughter was going out of town as well, so Tony was home by himself with an adult on standby. It’s two days; what could go wrong?

The morning we were set to come home, I got a text: “I’m really sorry, mom.” I figured he forgot to feed the horses, or he accidentally gathered the eggs from underneath the broody hen. I called him when I got a signal.

“What’s up?”

Long pause. “I wrecked your car.”

Dream Car

Every time my husband asked me, “What’s your favorite car?” I answered, “I don’t have one.” They get you from one place to another. Until 2007. I saw a Dodge Charger and fell in love. Not until 2021 when we no longer hauled eight people around in an SUV, did I get my dream car. An orange 2014 SXT Plus with sport mode. I named it Fireball. No one but my husband gets to drive it. It is they ONLY thing I have ever done just for myself.

Tony does not have a driver’s license. He doesn’t even have a permit. Foster kids can’t have licenses. On more than one occasion I have told him we will go to an empty church parking lot for him to learn how to slowly maneuver the car. But under no circumstances will he EVER drive my car alone. EVER.

Between A Rock and A Hard Place

We felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. How do you teach children to own their mistakes if you kick them out? But he STOLE my car!! And wrecked it! We decided the best way to show him how to deal with emotions and be responsible is to model that. He can’t pay for the car from jail, and we weren’t about to use our insurance — for multiple reasons. A sign on our wall says:

IN THIS HOUSE we do second chances. We do real. We make mistakes. We do forgiveness. We do LOUD really well. We are family. We do HUGS. We do LOVE.

So we hugged him and wrote a contract for him to pay the $9k in damages.

He had to watch us deal with our emotions. We were angry, sad, disappointed. There was no yelling, slamming, or kicking him out. Then we helped him work through his. He was scared, but he still had to face the consequences. Repairing the fence and signing a two-year payment contract. Progress, right?

Blossom’s Puppies

Add to the lasagna our English Bulldog, Blossom. In March we bred her. It takes a lot of money and time to successfully raise puppies. The 9 weeks gestation was a bit stressful as we wondered whether we’d have enough puppies to cover all the costs.

The Sunday after the car was wrecked, Blossom delivered three puppies by C-section at the vet’s. Momma and puppies have to be kept separated for the puppies’ safety. Every two hours, I put the puppies with Blossom to nurse and sat guard for the hour they ate. You have to clean the babies’ bottoms frequently to get them to pee and poo. Puppies don’t do that on their own. I was exhausted! Within 24 hours, however, Blossom was helping with bathroom needs like she did with the first litter. I’m relieved!

Two days later, we lost a puppy. Devastation! What happened? Although Blossom stimulated them with her licking, she didn’t actually clean this baby’s butt, and he couldn’t defecate. I was tempted to pretend I didn’t know why it died. Talk about accepting emotions and responsibility! That was T.U.F.F. Anger, guilt, sadness. FAILURE! That’s $3k to $4k lost. It was hard to be real and face my mistake.

M.E. Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day started out wonderfully with brunch at The Skillet. Before we ever left the restaurant, however, I crashed with M.E. I could barely hold myself up. My sweet husband took care of my every need all day long, but it was tough “missing the day”. Children gave me tea to drink, flowers to plant, chocolate to eat, handmade jewelry to wear, and called if they were too far away. I slept and had help with all the animals — even the puppies. It was a good day, overall. One a.m. that night doesn’t count as that day, right?

Mistakes That’re Out of My Hands

In the early hours of the morning, as I lay down after a puppy feeding (1 am) my foster daughter came into me. In tears, she crawled on the bed. “What’s the matter?” I asked.

She told me that Tony came into her room a few nights before wanting her to get drunk with him and wouldn’t leave. He left after much coaxing, and nothing “happened”, but she was scared. She couldn’t take the scared feeling anymore, so she had to tell me. I snuggled her up to me and reassured her she was safe. I thanked her for telling me — and the friend who encouraged her not to keep it a secret. Thankfully, her therapist works with her on recognizing and accepting emotions. It is typical for trauma survivors to smother their feelings — fawning.

Then I marched up to Tony’s room, found the Gatorade bottle masking alcohol, and told him that I couldn’t save him from his own stupid decisions. Even if I didn’t kick him out, the incident had to be reported. “I can fix my car, but I can’t fix that,” I said pointing to the room down the hall. The conversation was long and ended in a hug, but I was heartsick over what might happen. No sleep again.

Dealing With It

Monday

We met with the foster agency. They had to remove him from the home. I had to pack up all his belongings. What about his graduation party? How can I teach him what families do when I’m so mad? I have to protect my daughter. That’s what she is — foster or otherwise. I’m sad that he’s throwing away his life over selfish desires and addictions. Sad that he’s not using his therapist to work out his troubles — just pretending that he’s doing everything right.

I find out that there’s more behavior he hid. Although he swears he wasn’t drinking when he took the car, I know he was. The lies compound and it hurts.

Tuesday

My car is wrecked, a puppy is dead, my son (foster, but still) has gone because I couldn’t reach him. I have to put his room back together for whatever kid is next.

I feel like a failure — guilty because I don’t want to do anything for him. Conflicted because as a mom I really do want to give him all the things I give every other senior. Prom was supposed to be Saturday. I’m supposed to be making corsages and boutonnieres and a three-course meal for him and his friend’s dates.

Mad. Sad. Guilty. Confused. But I’m fine, right? I’m fine.

I distract myself by working on the next blog post; taking pictures, writing lists. Weigh, clean, and feed puppies. My head is splitting. I’M FINE. I can do this. There’s nothing I could have done differently. “Pull it together, Irene. This isn’t the first, it won’t be the last. Mistakes are part of life. Just move on.” I can’t.

No. Stop.

“Irene! Why are you doing this?” I’ve watch people deny their emotions. I’m doing it! How many times have I told my children, foster children, grandchildren that it’s okay to acknowledge your emotions? No emotion is BAD. It’s what you do with them that matters. If anything is “bad” it’s pretending you’re fine when you’re not.

Accepting emotions, sitting with them, letting them happen naturally is the first step in self-care. Choose what you will do to deal with them and love yourself.

STEPS FOR ACCEPTING EMOTIONS

Disclaimer. I am NOT a professional psychologist, doctor, or anything of the sort. I’m a professional Mom. I’ve been around the block and taken numerous trainings for foster care. In college I studied music therapy for bit. This advice is from things I’ve learned and studied on my own. If you need professional help, please don’t hesitate to seek it.

Recognize

At times it’s hard to recognize our emotions and face them. We’re caught up in the moment. We don’t want to have negative emotions; maybe they’re a sign of weakness, or they mean we’re bad, or we simply don’t have time for them. Whatever the reason, it keeps us from being well. I’m sure you’ve heard the term “bottling your emotions”. This video by Psych2go describes 6 signs you’re bottling your emotions.

Here are some physical signs you’re experiencing negative emotions:

Heart beating faster/ racing
Breathing faster or shallow
Hands clenched and muscles tight — neck, shoulders, forehead, jaw
Face flushed
Headache (usually from those tight muscles)
Sleepy
Intestinal distress — diarrhea, constipation, rumbling stomach, no appetite

Breathe

Take some deep breaths. There are many breathing techniques. My favorite go-to is the 4 7 8 exercise. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7, and breathe out for 8. I do this four or five times until my head is clear or I feel better. Being aware of our breathing helps us to be able to think clearly, so we can move forward.

Name Your Emotions

Priscilla or Oscar — Sam, maybe. Kidding. Not that kind of naming. What emotions are you feeling? You’d be surprised how many teenagers cannot identify what emotion they’re feeling. Take a moment to figure it out. Am I sad? Mad, hangry, frustrated, hurt, lonely, glad? All the above. You can feel more than one at a time. If you need help, there are charts that identify a wide range of emotion. I really like Live Bold and Bloom because they’ve compiled a wide variety of charts to choose from. Once you recognize which emotion you’re feeling, you can move on.

Accept Emotions and Be

It's okay not to be okay. Accepting emotions.

When an event is fresh, sometimes all you can do is exist. It is perfectly okay not to be okay. Accepting emotions and living in the moment might be all you can do. Breathe and be. Embrace the suck, as I like to say. Be sad. Be mad. Be lonely. Sit in the moment. Let everything that can be put off go for now. Laundry, phone calls, meals, lawn work. Whatever. Everything will still be there when your head is wrapped around the event.

I said to myself, “Self, it’s okay to be sad, because I have reason to be mad. I love the kids who come to my home, and it’s okay to keep loving him. It’s also okay to not throw a big grand party for him. I don’t have to make any decisions today. It’s not a good idea to act on emotion, anyway. Let’s go vomit write.”

Don’t stay in that space indefinitely, though. Take the next step.

Identify Thoughts

Actions are produced from feelings, which are triggered by thoughts. Accepting emotions starts with identifying the thoughts. Are they true or false? Altering the thoughts for a better outcome can be hard and may take some time.

Example: Mom is slamming doors and yelling. Why? She determines she’s angry (obviously?). What is she thinking? “The only thing I’ve ever bought for myself is now trashed. (TRUE) I don’t know if it’s totaled or fixable. (FALSE) I’ll never have my dream car again (FALSE).” (Can you guess who I’m describing?) New thought pattern: “I can’t change that the car is wrecked. The mechanic said the frame wasn’t bent, so it’s probably fixable. Those scratches and dings already on the hood are going to be fixed in the process. Awesome!” New action: Mom is looking forward to getting her car back and having it look even better than before, which causes her to talk with excitement to everyone. No door slamming.

Self-Care

Take care of yourself. Acknowledge what it is you need to feel better. My husband and I cancelled everything and went to see “Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 3”. It was a great escape. Self-care goes a long way. Here’s a list of things you can do to love yourself.

soak in a tub
read
go for a walk
do some art
call a friend and download; a sounding board might just be the ticket
play a sport or do another activity that requires physical exertion – get those endorphins pumping
get a manicure, pedicure, or massage
sleep
play with some animals
serve someone else (volunteer in a classroom or at a food bank)
focus on your hobby
Listen to some great music — you can also use some visualization techniques with it.

You know what I did? I vomit wrote. What’s that, you say? Like I said at the beginning of this post, I ditched the blog I was going to write and started writing everything I felt. I wrote it to you. The next day I deleted about 2/3 of it. You didn’t need to know every single detail of what happened and what I felt about it. But I needed to. I didn’t want to verbally spew, so I did it on paper with a #2 pencil. Okay, the computer this time. It feels good. You should try it sometime.

It’s actually two days later now because it’s taken that long with puppies and sleep deprivation and migraines and ME. It’s OKAY!! Today is fabulous!!! No migraine. A got a good night’s sleep now that the puppies are big enough Blossom won’t squish them. My head is clear. I no longer feel like crying or screaming. See what self-care can do?

FEELING BETTER

One of the most important things to remember when you’re going through rough emotions, is that it will get better. The moment always feels like it’s never going to end. It might take a day or three, but it WILL get better. If you feel like your negative emotions are going on and on, I encourage you to seek out some help. Moreover, mental health is getting easier to access all the time. In fact, I’m getting ready to contact betterhelp.com to deal with some of the emotional situations that have avalanched in the last year. I’ll let you know how that goes.

I hope my experience has strengthened your ability at accepting emotions in your life. It’s not always easy. Once you get better at it, you’ll be able to help your kids, friends, or other loved ones. Loving yourself builds the bridge for loving others.

Links You Might Enjoy

I loved this YouTube video about understanding and dealing with negative emotions with Dr. Tracey Marks.
The School of Life created How to Process Your Emotions. It’s amazing how our minds process everything we go through.
Emotions and the Brain captured some of the concepts I’m trying to explain. Check it out below.

YOUR TURN

Have you ever had a time when accepting emotions was particularly hard? How did you handle it? Who helped you? What do you like to do for self-care? I hope you’ll share with us in the comments below.

Why Handwritten Notes Will Improve Your Life

May 9, 2023 Homemaking

The other day, I read a Handwritten Notes Facebook post by a good friend, Jared Peterson. He’s a great writer and regularly posts “Story Time” on his personal page. We’re from the same era, and many of his posts resonate with me.

He reminisced about the good ‘old days before smartphones and social media became our main modes of communication. It got me thinking about the handwritten notes I’ve received and how important they are to me.

In this post, we’ll talk about why handwritten notes create JOY and improve our life.

Why Handwritten Notes

If all we’re trying to do is communicate, then what is the significance of a handwritten note? Why does it matter as long as the message is given? Handwriting is distinctly individual. It’s why our signature is important. Because it identifies us specifically.

When I was growing up, handwriting was the most widely used form of communication. We wrote notes to each other in class, sent letters in the mail to our grandparents, siblings, and pen pals, and wrote thank you cards after receiving a gift. Recognizing someone’s handwriting was as easy as recognizing their voice. You got a note, and you knew who it was from even if you didn’t see their name.

Everything is different today. Jared’s thoughts on handwritten notes spoke to me and got me thinking a lot about the significance of communication, especially in written form. Here’s what he wrote:

Story Time with Jared Peterson

Handwritten Notes

I remember the good ‘ol days when handwritten notes were passed in the classroom. Handwritten letters were exchanged with pen pals and communication was personal and real. I have quite a few memories of the way things used to be. Come to think of it, I probably have every letter that was sent to me prior to email becoming the norm. There’s an old blue footlocker out in the shed that is loaded with things like that. I oughta dig it out and reread some just for a trip down memory lane.

Nothing says ‘I love you’ or, ‘I care about you’ better than a letter, written on purpose, sealed, stamped and sent with the best intentions and the expectation of a letter in return. I have had a few freiends like that over the years. It has always been easier for me to express myself in writing because I was so darn shy in my younger years.

I remember sixth grade was about the time when girls began to pass notes to boys in class. For some reason, it seems like girls were the instigators of the notes. As luck would have it, a note or four would get intercepted by the teacher and First Amendment rights were violated by the teacher reading the note to the entire class! Fortunately, none of mine were ever exposed to my classmates.

Remember the way notes were carefully folded? There was an unspoken code between classmates that regardless of how you viewed note passing, you would never be the weak link in the note-passing chain. We all did it!

I look at how the digital world has made it so easy to send a message to friends and yes, old classmates. I just got a message from a sweet friend of my early childhood this morning! Isn’t it a blessing to still have lines of communication with people who have always been important in your life? It’s fun to compare fun stories about grandkids, life events, and keeping in touch just because. It seems like the post office has become just the place to receive bills and messenger, texts, and emails are for friends.

Mama always encouraged me to write. Much of my life has been shaped by correspondences between myself and friends. I enjoy the group texts between several classmate buddies that I am blessed to be a part of. Relationships are kept strong because of communication, especially those who brighten your day just because they sent a message just for you. Humanity is cool like that. We need to remember to keep in touch, because it makes life all the sweeter.

How Handwritten Notes Improve Lives

The Past

My grandmother passed away thirty-five years ago. Her name was Irene. She loved me. I think about her, and I can smell her perfume and hear her voice. I have a book with her handwriting, as well as recipes. When I see her handwriting, it’s a piece of her. Her hand recorded the thoughts from her brain. It is her mental and physical self on paper. I can feel her presence when I see her handwriting.

Likewise, my mother’s handwriting is easily recognizable to me. She loved books and cooking and sharing her love. I have books with handwritten notes to the receiver. Her recipe box sits in my kitchen with numerous handwritten recipes. The handwriting is more precious than the food she’s writing about. I can feel her arms around me simply by looking at her writing.

When I was going through post-partum depression, my dearest friend made lasagna for my family and included her recipe. I see her handwriting and feel the love flying off the recipe card.

If you grew up in the 80s and 90s, do you remember the giddy feeling when someone slipped a carefully folded note in your hand? You got one! Or the sinking feeling when you didn’t? Did your grandma, aunt, or friend ever write you a letter and you couldn’t wait to respond? The recognition and validation was sweet and joyful. It triggers hormones in our brain that make us feel good. And that makes both the giver and receiver’s lives better.

The Present

But that was then, right? If someone doesn’t know you love them through your text, that’s their problem. They can pull up a picture of you on social media and remember you. Hear me out. I’m not saying there aren’t plenty of ways to say, “I love you.”

Consider this.

Handwriting takes time. It makes you slow down and think about what you want to say. Typing is quick. Hitting send is much faster than folding, stuffing, addressing, stamping, and putting in a mailbox. Time is what handwritng is about. Giving of yourself. When that someone gets a letter, note, recipe from you, they’ll recognize the effort you took for them. It’s kind of like love economics: supply and demand.

The supply of handwritten notes is down, so those that are produced are worth MUCH more to the receiver. You can’t help but climb that pedestal a little higher. Your love for them becomes more obvious and felt a little more intensely. Feeling seen and remembered triggers hormones in our brain that make us feel good. And that makes both the giver and receiver’s lives better.

And who knows, someday when someone needs to see a bit of you, your handwriting will be that connection.

Handwritten Notes Trend

Here’s proof that the demand for handwritten notes is up. There are more and more computer fonts created that look like handwritten letters, it’s not the same thing, obviously. Pen to paper looks different. Did you know that you can pay someone to send handwritten notes for you? Whether it’s Thank You cards or a letter, you can hire someone to write them for you. (You tell them what to write — it’s not something they make up.) If there wasn’t a demand, people wouldn’t provide this service.

I guess I can understand using this service if your handwriting is absolutely atrocious. I suppose anybody’s writing is more personal than a computer printout. And if you have great handwriting, that might be a great side gig.

Think about it though, your handwriting represents you. Even if you think it’s ugly — and it might very well be — it’s still you. I love my husband and children, and if I got a note from them that wasn’t their handwriting, I’d be wondering, “What in the heck happened to their hands that they can’t write?” Yep, I think it’s pretty sad that people have to pay someone to personalize something for them. I believe in keeping it real.

Love Notes

My mom loved to sew. In her endeavor to foster compliments and sweet feelings in our home, she made a note center in our hallway. It was a large piece of fabric that had one pocket for each person. She machine embroidered each person’s name on a pocket, along with the title, LOVE NOTES across the top. (Years later when there weren’t as many kids home, she made another from old jeans with pants pockets.) An extra pocket held note cards or cut up paper along with pens and pencils.

Momma encouraged us to leave a handwritten note nearly every day. Notice when someone did something nice and write them a thank you note. Write a compliment or simply say I love you. Today, we might send a text — but if you’re like my family and everyone doesn’t have a mobile phone, I highly recommend starting this habit of expressing love in writing. Plus, the handwritten notes can be kept much longer than the text messages. And AGAIN — handwriting is more personal. I love the cute little backward “d” and “e” and misspelled words that a young writer makes.

Give Love

I have a sister who has worked in Australia a couple of times for several-year stretches. Her kids and their families are here in the states. I was telling her about this article, and she related how her greatest days were those when she’d stop at the post office and isntead of a bill — or nothing — she’d find a letter with her son’s handwriting on the front. She felt loved half a world away because her busy son took the time to write his Momma.

Isn’t that what we’re here for? To give love? To bring joy? There are lots of ways to do it. By phone, email, text message, in person, and through acts of service. Let’s bring back that old-fashioned form of giving love and send someone a handwritten letter. I bet you’ll bring a smile to their face — and possibly yours, as well.

Your Turn

What message era did you grow up in? What’s your favorite way of communicating? Do you ever look at someone’s handwriting and feel closer to them? Does receiving handwritten notes make the day sweeter and bring you joy? Do you think more of someone when they take the time to send a handwritten note, or does it matter?

27 Variations of Classic Outdoor Games Even Adults Will Enjoy

May 5, 2023 Homemaking

Do you remember those classic outdoor games? Are they part of your great memories? As a child, I was lucky to have adults play with us, making those games even more fun.

Some classic outdoor games include Tag, Simon Says, and Hide-and-Go-Seek. Oh my! The countless hours we played these games growing up. As computer games and smart phones take over our leisure hours, it’s time we bring these games back.

In this post we’ll describe four of the classic outdoor games and a multitude of variations of each one that will give you memories to last a lifetime.

Classic Outdoor Games

In planning this post, I was honestly thinking of classic outdoor games for family reunions because I’m planning ours. But these are fabulous games to play with any crowd — large or small. I played most of these as a child (did anyone else have the rule to come in when the street light came on?), a mom (how many birthday parties?), and now as a grandma (get them tired out!). I’ve used them as part of my job as a health educator several years ago to promote physical activity. We play them at family reunions and whenever the kids gather in our backyard.

Disclaimer here: You can play several of these games indoor too, depending on how much room you have. In fact, some of these can be played in a relatively small space. I think you’ll agree, though, we all need to get out more. If you’re having a party, a family get-together, or just need the kids to go play outside, try some of these classic outdoor games and their fun variations.

Don’t forget that this is about having fun. Adjust the rules for age and ability, and don’t forget that a little cheating to is never a bad idea if it advances kindness and LOVE. Everyone get their sunblock AND thick-skin lotion out and apply liberally.

Tag

Classic

I think tag probably started with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden — it’s THAT old. In the classic outdoor game of Tag, someone is IT, and when they touch a runner, that person is IT. You can play with two or twenty. Choose more than one person as IT if there are a lot of people. Here are three variations to keep it interesting.

Freeze Tag

In Freeze Tag, when someone gets tagged, they freeze in the position they were tagged. The person who is IT wins when they tag everyone. The first person tagged then becomes IT for the next game.

Variation #1: frozen players are “thawed” when another runner taggs them and counts loudly to 5 – then both run again.

Variation #2: frozen players are “thawed” by another runner crawling through their legs. This becomes quite hilarious as an adult tries to climb through the legs of a 5-year-old.

Link Tag

Link tag is the perfect classic outdoor game for large groups in large spaces. In this version everyone splits off into pairs and links arms. Once couple is chosen to split and be the chaser and runner. When the runner gets tired, they link elbows with anyone, and the person on the other side of the pair becomes the new runner. If they fail to completely link arms with someone before getting tagged, they are the new chaser.

Variation #1: Linked partners form a circle, and the runner can only run on the outside. IT can run inside or outside. The great advantage to this version is that it defines the playing space. The rule for this version is that when a runner links arms with one pair, the new runner can’t link arms with the next pair in the circle.

Variation #2 If your players have a large size difference, you can simply hold hands. For very young players, as long as they’re touching the person they want to link arms with, they are safe. (See how good cheating skills come into play as I make up these different variations?)

If you want to see this game in action, check out A Little Family Fun playing this at a family reunion.

Pacman Tag

If you’re at a park (or building) that has a basketball court or other sports field with painted lines, this is a fun version of Tag. Choose how many people you want as Pacman — I suggest one person for every 10 people playing. They hold a smallish object — rock, baseball cap, flipflop. TIP: Wearing a designated hat is a great way to see who is IT.

Pacman start in the center and counts to 10 to give players time to spread out. Players and Pacman must stay on the lines at all times. Players cannot pass each other, but they can turn at any line intersection they want. When Pacman tags someone, the object is handed over to that person and they become Pacman — counting to 5 before starting.

Variation #1: When getting tagged, the player sits down instead of becoming Pacman. They become a block in the line and the only people who can travel past them are the Pacman.

Variation #2: A “ghost” is chosen, and they can tag anyone who is out and unblock the line. Ghosts can pass other players.

SAFETY NOTE: in all versions, players should walk fast, but do not run. There are too many ways to get hurt with everyone on the lines. (How do I know?)

Line Games

We really liked line-up-control-everyone games when I was little. They are a wonderful tool for helping little kids practice self-control as they have to wait for instruction. And kids love it when an adult messes up and gets sent back to the starting line. There are numerous classic outdoor games where the players line up next to each other and the person who is IT stands about 20 yards (or so) away and directs the game in some way. I suggest an adult always starts these games to set the example for children.

Red Light Green Light

The leader says, “red light” and then turns his back to the group and says, “green light”. Everyone is free to move forward in an effort to tag the leader. The leader turns around quickly and says, “red light”. Everyone must freeze. Anyone caught moving on a red light has to go back to the starting line. The first one to tag the leader becomes the new leader. The distance between leader and players can be adjusted for age groups. And adults are allowed to pick up little ones and help them advance. (Cheating? The best kind.)

MOTHER MAY I

This game from my childhood brings back many fond memories, as we made up crazy names for “steps”. The leader chooses one player at a time and gives them a number of types of steps they may take. “George, you may take 3 giant steps.” The person says, “Mother, may I?” (or Daddy, may I, if that matters to you) and the leader says, “Yes, you may.” The person then takes that many types of steps. If they do not say, “Mother, may I?” before moving, they have to go back to the starting line.

I remember taking scissor steps (legs have to cross each other dramatically), baby steps, regular steps, grandma steps (bent over and shuffling), frog steps (hops), egg rolls, chicken steps, and so on and so forth. If Mother does not approve of the steps, she can send children back to the starting line.

Variation: The game starts with the “children” requesting a certain number of types of steps – to see what they can get away with. “Mother, may I take 3 giant steps?” The Mother can say, “Yes, you may,” or “No, you may not, but you may take 4 scissor steps.” If the steps are not performed to the Mother’s liking (too many or not the right kind), she sends them back to the starting line. Does it seem obvious that the Mother basically gets to choose who wins and reaches her first? (Unless she’s never allowed to send anyone back to the starting line, which is an option. But I’m not writing another variation just for that change.)

What Time Is It, Mr. Wolf?

Once again, Mr. Wolf is on one side, and everyone lines up on the other. Only this time, Mr. Wolf keeps his back turned to the group. Each player takes a turn yelling out (or the entire group can holler together) “What time is it, Mr. Wolf?” Mr. Wolf says a time. “It’s 3 o’clock.” The time represents how many steps everyone can take. In this instance everyone takes three steps. They’re not going to be the same size steps. Anyone caught cheating by other players and taking more steps (if they’re old enough to understand) must go back to the starting line.

If Mr. Wolf thinks a player is close enough to catch, he can answer, “Dinner time!” and turn around and try to tag someone, who will become Mr. Wolf. The players try to be very silent, so they tag Mr. Wolf before he knows they’re close enough. Whoever tags Mr. Wolf gets to be IT or can decide they have to try again as Mr. Wolf.

Watch this darling family play this classic outdoor game. I adore the look on the older boy’s face as he schemes. If you like them, feel free to hop on over to YouTube and like and subscribe. (I don’t know them. I just think they’re cute as heck. My kids never wrote on their face. hahaha)

Follow the Leader Games

Who doesn’t like bossy games? Okay, not a fair question for children who don’t like the anxiety of everyone’s eyes on them. As the ninth child of ten, I loved it when I FINALLY got a chance to be heard. The benefit of these classic outdoor games is that it teaches children to follow directions and think hard before they choose what they’re going to do. Self-improvement for all ages.

Simon Says

Most people are familiar with this children’s game, but it’s a lot of fun when the adults join in, too. The leader stands in front of the group and tells everyone what to do. “Simon says touch your elbow.” Everyone touches their elbow. And so on. If the leader says, “Hop on one foot,” without saying Simon Says, the group should NOT hop on one foot. If you do, you’re out. The winner is the last one standing. The faster the leader goes, the harder it is, so pay attention to the age group of people playing and be nice to the little ones.

Variation #1 Simon performs the actions with the group. To get people out faster, Simon does an action that is NOT what he said. “Simon Says pat your head.” But Simon pats his shoulder.

Variation #2 Position the players so they’re not facing the leader. If they’re watching each other, you have a 50 / 50 chance they’ll mess up watching what someone else does. You could do this by pairing them off or making two lines facing each other.

Variation #3 Simon Says, Sandra Says, Sophie Says – Add three directions they have to consider.

If the leader says:

Simon Says, they do what Simon Says.
Sandra Says, they do the opposite action. Example: sit down/ they stand up. Or snap the fingers on your right hand /they snap the fingers on their left.
Sophie Says, they do a prearranged action regardless of what is said. For example, if Samuel Says means that everyone hops on one foot, when the leader says Simon Says clap your hands, players hop on one foot rather than clap their hands.

For more variations, visit Icebreaker Ideas.

DO THIS, DO THAT

Much like Simon Says, this is a follow-me type game. I like this one for people who might have trouble communicating lots of words but can easily say “Do This” or “Do That”. The leader says, “Do This” and everyone follows the thing they’re demonstrating – like patting their head. If the leader says, “Do That,” the followers should NOT do the thing the leader is doing, or they’ll be eliminated.

Variation: Instead of being out, the person who “Does That” has to perform a designated task – like a certain number of pushups. If you’re at a family reunion, they have to help clean up dinner, or stack the firewood if you’re camping.

Body Part MixuP

Another great game for people to practice concentrating and control. The leader will call out body parts for the players to touch. EXCEPT! At the beginning, the leader will decide on a Body Part Mixup. Let’s say it’s decided that head will be toes. Each time the leader says “head” the players touch their toes instead. After a few times of one command at a time, the leader can add several in sequence. Example “knees, head, elbow”. The players should touch their knees, TOES and elbow. Continue playing and adding Body Part Mixups.

HIDE AND GO SEEK

No classic outdoor games list would be complete without Hide and Go Seek Counting, hiding, finding, running. These elements bring back such a thrill, and I love playing this game even with the two-year-olds. Here’s why. When my Child #2 was two years old, he would call his Grandma Winsor on the phone. My Mom was the funnest (my computer says funnest isn’t a word – funnerest – most fun, whatever) lady alive. He wanted to play Hide and Go Seek. (Remember, this was in the day of landlines – and dinosaurs.) Did my mom tell him she couldn’t because she wasn’t there? NO! She played with him. I had the phone on speaker, so I could help if needed. Here’s how it went:

GMA: Okay, I’m closing my eyes. Go hide. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

CHILD#2 hides behind a chair and is giggling like crazy.

GMA: I can hear you! Are you over here?

CHILD#2 gets quiet.

GMA: Nope. Are you over there? Nope Are you in the bathroom?

CHILD#2 is still silent and crouching down more.

GMA: You are hiding so well! Are you behind the chair? (Remember, she has no clue where he is. She’s totally guessing. She was amazing.

CHILD#2: Found me! (He’s laughing and jumping up and down.)

GMA: There you are! That was fun.

CHILD #2: Gehn, Gehn.

GMA: Okay, let’s play again. Go hide. I’m covering my eyes.

This was Child#2’s favorite game and he could count to 10 by the age of three but only if his eyes were covered.

THE CLASSIC

There are a million versions of the classic with varying rules. The original game from my childhood, called for choosing a home base somewhere central and someone to be IT. A perimeter was chosen: the Winsor’s yard and you can’t go inside. IT stood at home base (the Winsor’s basketball stand) and counted to whatever number was chosen for how hard it was to find a hiding space. (Outside it was usually 50 to 100). Everyone hides.

iT hollers loudly, “Ready or not, here I come.” If you had not found a place yet, you better hurry. The search is on. If you thought you could sneak out of your hiding place and run to the home base without getting tagged, you made a run for it. If you’re tagged, you’re out. If you make it, you’re safe. When you’re found, and tagged, you’re out. If you’re not tagged (up a tree, for instance) when you’re found, you can try to run and make it to home base (tag is a great game, right?)

If IT can’t find people and gives up, they yell, “Olly, Olly in come free,” which basically means all y’all can come in to home base without getting tagged out.

Oh the memories!

Variation: Go hide and stay there til you get caught or the person gives up. This seems to be the variation played the most today. I don’t see anyone playing the original version anymore.

Sardines

This hide and go seek game is the mirror image of the classic. The person who is IT goes and hides while everyone else covers their eyes and counts together to whatever number. Everyone splits up. When you find the person that’s hiding, you climb into their hiding spot with them. Hence the name, Sardines. By the time everyone finds the hiding spot, you’re all crammed in like Sardines. The first person to find the IT gets to be IT next. This encourages everyone to search vigorously.

Piggy Wants a Signal

We enjoyed playing this version of hiding and seeking when we were out camping, because there were lots of trees and bushes to hide behind within easy sight of home base. This is played like the classic style. If you’re tagged, you’re brought to home base where you have to stay as a Piggy in a Pen.

When IT is off looking for someone else, the Piggy hollers, “Piggy wants a signal.” Those who are hiding, can give a signal any way they can (make a noise, wave your hand, pop out real quick). If Piggy sees them, they can sneak off and hide in the same spot. (This becomes challenging if there are more than one Piggy in a Pen.) If IT sees you sneaking off, you risk giving the new spot away and both (or more) people getting caught. Of course, you can all run for it, and only one of you might get tagged before making it to home base. That’s the way we played it.

Variation #1: Home base is chosen as the spot you can run to. The pig pen is marked by a circle in the ground separate from home base. When a caught person says, “Piggy wants a signal” the signal has to be a pig sound (whether that’s “oink” or a grunt or a squeal). Hiders can choose the best time and sound to make, but they do have to signal. This increases the odds of getting caught.

Hide and go seek game — F.G. Weller 1873

Variation #2: This style is for very young players. There’s no tag or pig pen in this version. When IT can’t find anyone, they can call, “Piggy wants a signal.” Everyone must make a pig sound to assist the IT in finding them. I play something like this when I’m playing with the toddlers at home. I usually whistle or make some other sound so they can find me and learn how fun this game is.

Get Outside, Get Playing

I think the greatest part of getting outside and playing together is that it makes us laugh. As we play and get silly, we laugh. This makes us happier, healthier, and closer to the people we love. Maybe they’re family. Maybe friends. It could even be strangers. When I’m simply a spectator, I’m still laughing and enjoying the games. I hope you’ll add these 27 variations of classic outdoor games to your time together.

Your Turn

Do you remember playing any of these games in your childhood? How about as an adult? Can you tell us about any variations you’ve played that we didn’t name? What game would you add to these categories that your family has played together?